


a little leap of faith

by auburnrose



Category: Mianite - Fandom, Mianitian Isles, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Dark!Jordan, Gen, Realm of Mianite, and i decided to have some fun with it, dark!Ianite, did someone say blind faith?, i did :)), idk how tags work but i want to join the cool kids on ao3, this is from when isles actually had plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:53:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auburnrose/pseuds/auburnrose
Summary: darkness comes to the isles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this on tumblr ages ago but all the cool kids use ao3 and i wanna join the club. shout out to nerf house, this only exists because of yall <3

_I’m not ready yet_ is her first thought when he appears.

 _We’re too young_ is her second thought as the man orients himself, blinking at the sudden brightness.

 _It’s starting_ is her final thought as her gaze lingers on the not-quite-stranger before she returns to Asgard to warn her brothers.

***

Ianite had started to receive visions of the future when she was a young godling. Queen Angrec warned her not to tell her brothers of what she saw. “ _It’s no good to linger on what cannot be changed” the_ queen would say. “ _Your brothers wouldn’t understand”, a_ nd indeed they wouldn’t. The things Ianite saw scared and confused her. An eternity of darkness, unbreakable chains, the realm below shifting quickly between order and chaos, moments of peace, then corruption. “ _A lack of balance”_ Angrec would say dryly. _“That is your role, young one. You must be the balance between light and dark.”_

“I don’t even have my powers yet, your highness. It’s not fair” Ianite would reply. It was a weak argument and she knew it. “ _Sacrifices must be made for the sake of balance, my dear”_ the queen continued _“You don’t have an easy road ahead of you, but one day I hope you’ll be able to understand”_. The queen would then pull her into a brief hug and dismiss the young goddess, alone with her thoughts.

***

Ianite never told Angrec about the captain. He was the only constant in her dreams, from her worst nightmares to scenes bathed in a warm, golden glow. She saw him building majestic temples, fiddling with complex mechanisms, taking down monsters with ease. He fooled around with his friends, initiated adventures, and was fiercely protective of his pets. 

In one world he was her husband, in another he was her rescuer. She knew intuitively that he was her counterpart in the lower realm, striving to bring balance to the land. He was to be her chosen champion. In every vision of the future, she felt his unwavering loyalty to his goddess, a fiery devotion incapable of being put out. 

She didn’t want to meet him. Not yet. Not ever. Not when she knew that his unfailing loyalty to her would be his downfall.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt for the dark!Ianite if you want it: She tries to push him away, to keep him safe but it somehow only makes him more devoted, gives him this idea that he has something to prove, and she wants so desperately to tell him, to save him, and yet some part of her *glows* with his faith
> 
> a continuation of dark!ianite if you will

_Please know that I don’t want to do this_ Ianite begged with a heavy heart. _This is going to hurt you just as much it will hurt me._

_Mianite did well when I asked him for a champion all those years ago_ she thinks with a grimace. _A little too well_. But had it really been years ago when she requested her older brother to grant her a champion? Or was she confusing her visions of the future with the present again? Regardless, Mianite - at some point in time in some dimension - chose the captain to be her champion.

In many ways he was the perfect match. Rather than choosing one side over another, he forged a middle ground, playing the role of the mediator when the heroes disputed with one another. He tended not to act unless provoked, and even then, all of his moves were carefully calculated.

The last thing she wanted to do was to push her champion away, they had a connection that was unrivaled by the other gods and their followers. He defended her name and all she stood for fearlessly, never hesitating to act when another hero upset the balance. She did her best to keep in touch with him, granting him favors and small gifts to remind him how highly she valued him. But with Darkness running rampant through the land, Ianite knew that she couldn’t protect her hero forever.

The darkness had already corrupted both of her brothers, Dianite in a future dimension and Mianite in the present. _I’m next_ she thought with a bitter taste in her _mouth. The fates have declared it to be so and I can’t avoid it._ Ianite knew that the Darkness would come for her eventually, and as much as she’d try to fight, she couldn’t win.

The goddess of balance could live with the idea of inevitable corruption - it would be nothing compared to the eternity of torture awaiting her that was drawing nearer. Both of her brothers had experienced Darkness taking control so she must succumb to it as well, for the sake of balance. What she hadn’t expected was a champion to be completely and utterly devoted to her.

_The captain was too damn loyal for his own good_ she thought with a wry smile. If Ianite alerted him to the danger she was in, the danger _he_ was in, she knew that he’d refuse to leave her side and try to devise a way to get out of it. Ianite couldn’t live with herself if Jordan died in a futile attempt to save her.

With Sparklez at her side, Darkness would only be even more motivated to come after her. Ianite knew that Darkness would jump at the prospect of killing two birds with one stone (literally), he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to rid both the gods and heroes of their keepers of balance. _I won’t let it happen_ she thinks fiercely.

Mianite and Dianite stood for order and chaos respectively, both could be manipulated for evil purposes but Ianite knew her brothers much preferred their powers to be used for good. Dia favored (mostly) harmless pranks and Mianite enjoyed providing a sense of order to the realm. Darkness stood for destruction and was truly evil, no qualms about it. With balance gone, order and chaos would be far too easy to eliminate and pure destruction would take their place.

So it was really for the best when Ianite forced herself to keep at a distance from Spparklez. _It’s for his own safety she_ had to remind herself when he would absentmindedly make a comment directed at her, shoulders slumping at the realization that she was no longer present. _It’s_ _for the greater good_ she’d plead with herself when Jordan took to sitting outside her temple, praying that she would overhear his thoughts, head in his hands.

“What have I done wrong?” he would whisper “How can I help you if you don’t speak to me, m'lady? Am I not strong enough?”

_Why did you leave me?_ he’d finish, voice cracking, a single tear making its way down his cheek. In those moments all she wanted to do was appear to him and draw him in close. _I’m here_ she’d whisper _. You’ve done nothing wrong_ she’d say, but she couldn’t. She knew that those moments of weakness would make it all to easy for the darkness to strike…

_Weakness_? she stopped suddenly, alarmed. Since when did she think that her emotions made her weak?

_You used to be stronger_ Darkness whispered in her mind _. Justice is supposed to be blind, when you see all that happens you become too soft my sweet Ianite_ he rasped, taking delight in her discomfort.

_Get out of my head_ Ianite responded, teeth gritted. _I don’t have time for this._

_You will soon enough_ the Darkness cackled, but Ianite felt a dark veil lift from her mind. She made up her mind once and for all - if Darkness already could get to her head so easily, Jordan wasn’t safe around her anymore.

***

No one could tell that Ianite was staying away from Jordan. He refused to let his friends know, his friends with gods that checked in on them, gods that responded to prayers, gods that _cared about_ them. No one needed to know that he was alone on the island, abandoned by the one person he thought he could trust.

He figured it had to do with the Darkness. It had corrupted Mianite almost immediately after it appeared on the isles. _Maybe she’s scared_ he thought, trying to reassure himself. _It’s for her own safety_ he determines. _When balance falls nothing can be saved._ So he resolved that he would become stronger. He’d get the best armor, the most dangerous weapons, and train to be a strong as he could for his lady. With her powers and his skill, he was positive that that they could give Darkness a run for his money. Even if he died, it’d be worth it. He’d do anything for the sake of balance. He’d do anything for his lady.

Jordan never gave up on Ianite. Sure, she appeared on the isles once in a great while so no one suspected she’d gone anywhere. Even during these brief visits, Ianite wouldn’t spare him a second glance. Eventually Tom, apparently unsatisfied with Dianite’s lack of chaotic nature formally renounced his god and asked to to become a follower of Ianite.

Jordan couldn’t believe it. Yes, Tom was his best friend and he loved the man to pieces, but Tom? A follower of Ianite? Jordan figured that his lady would see through Tom immediately and dismiss his shenanigans. Instead, Ianite allowed Tom to join, for a very cheap price of 80 ender pearls, not even close to a challenge. She even insinuated that she’d have to pick the better champion of the two, implying that Jordan wouldn’t automatically win her favor.

At that declaration he stared at her, mouth slightly ajar and eyes glazed with hot, unshed tears of frustration. It was the closest thing he’d ever felt to betrayal by his goddess’ hand. He needed to get away, he needed to be alone to process this new development. Wordlessly, Jordan left his friends to their conversation and retreated to Ianite’s temple. He broke down into silent sobs as soon as he was inside, finally letting weeks of pent up emotions to flow over him. 

A sudden movement at the entrance had him quickly wiping the tears away and drawing his sword. It was Ianite. For the first time in weeks, his lady finally met his eyes and gave him a small, sad smile _. You still hold my favor, Captain. Do not fret. There are other things at play, I’m afraid,_ she whispered in his mind before departing. Jordan took a deep breath as everything suddenly shifted into sharp focus. With that message, his resolve to become the strongest hero on the isles increased tenfold. _Something is wron_ g he realized. _Something much bigger than any of us…we have to be ready._

_***_

As much as Ianite forced herself to stay away, Jordan refused to give up on her but she knew that the silent treatment hurt him. She couldn’t ignore the pain she saw that flashed in his eyes when she refused to acknowledge his presence during her brief visits to the islands. _He does a good job of hiding it_ she thought, immediately hating herself for it. _I did this to him. He trusted me and all I’ve done is hurt him_. The realization was like a punch in the gut. She still couldn’t tell her champion of the incoming danger, but next time she visited the isles she’d make sure to talk to him to try and help him understand.

Fortunately, the opportunity arose quite quickly. Tom had foolishly destroyed Mianite’s new temple and Ianite was summoned to restore the balance. In an unexpected move, the zombie admitted to his crime, going as far to renounce her younger brother as his chosen god. Ianite’s eyes narrowed at the declaration - Dia must be up to something, she’d have to check on that later. But for the time being, she would play along. A quick glance at her captain confirmed her own suspicions, he was eyeing his best friend with mistrust, gripping his sword a little too tightly as the zombie rambled on about a desire for peace and balance. 

“If he was to join you, Miss Ianite, what would it cost?” interjected the priest, casting a worried glance between the heroes. _Jordan’s not going to like this_ the goddess thought before stepping forward to approach the now godless Tom. 

“I would want an offering. A replacement of the pearls he so cruelly burned in front of me. 80 pearls. A steep price, I feel” she declared, carefully watching the zombie’s reaction. He looked shocked, whether it was at the minimal challenge or his success in executing whatever Dianite’s plan was, Ianite wasn’t sure. As she discussed further logistics with the priest, she noted the captain heading back to his tower, face carefully crafted into one of a polite indifference. _That’s not a good sign_ she thought. _I have to get his attention._

“I need to consider how best to choose who my true hero is. The Captain…or the Zombie”. _That_ got Jordan’s attention. His facade crumbled and he stared at his goddess with raw desperation, tears threatening to spill over. She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes, knowing that her resolve would fail and she’d end up telling him everything she knew, dooming both of them. He retreated to the temple he’d built for her as the other heroes continued their conversation.

_Please don’t hate me_ Ianite prayed before approaching her true champion. Her sudden appearance startled him and he quickly brushed away the tears that _she_ had caused. The goddess met his gaze for the first time in weeks and gave a small, sad smile - an apology for the stress and frustration she’d wrought on him. _You still hold my favor, Captain_ she reassured him, whispering in his mind. _Do not fret. There are other things at play, I’m afraid_. That was all she dared to tell him before departing once more to Asgard.

As she looked back, she saw something burning in his eyes, but it was no longer anger and betrayal. Those had been replaced by a fiery desire to protect all that he loved - his friends, his land, his lady. _That’s because of me_ she realized, a warm glow blossoming in her chest as she fully understood the extent of the captain’s loyalty. The path that lay ahead of them was wrought with immeasurable danger but he still trusted her. _He still trusts me_ she thought with wonder. Maybe this won’t be so bad…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one part was written specifically to hurt the nerf house, sorry not sorry loves <3

The heroes were told that winning the Purge would grant them an object that would bring them the light and help them defeat the Darkness. It was a partial truth. The champion of the Purge would also see their god’s power increase tenfold. Everyone on the isles was aware of the fact that each god wished to become more powerful than their siblings, but only the gods were aware of just how much was at stake.

The champions of the three gods were by no means evenly matched. Jordan had lived in more dimensions than most and he had the knowledge and skills to show for it. He was most heavily rivaled by Tom Syndicate who also had years of combative experience. Karl did his best to keep up with the others, but he wasn’t used to the harsh living conditions on the isles. He must have come from another dimension everyone determined, some place with more civilization, less blatant war and conflict. A realm where someone could live in peace and comfort. You didn’t have to collect the most resources or craft the best gear to survive there. It was peaceful, and Karl missed it. He was still getting used to the isles.

Tom and Jordan, however, were incredibly familiar with this violent, competitive world. They knew how to balance their friendship with their loyalty to their gods, balance light competition and pranks with gearing up and making a life for themselves. They were used to the Purge.

In other worlds, the Purge was also treated as a friendly competition to test who was the strongest, the cleverest. It was a good way to get the gear and resources you may not otherwise have access to, provided you could be faster, stronger, and smarter than the competition.

Here though, in this new, strange world, it was anything but a friendly competition. Maybe the champions would view it as such, but the gods did their best to convince the heroes otherwise. This was _anything but_ a normal purge.

–

“You must restore my name and reputation” Mianite tells Karl. The Darkness had corrupted Mianite first in this land. He had been purged of its influence relatively quickly, but his image was severely tarnished in the eyes of the other gods and heroes.

“They underestimate you” Mianite continues. “This is a chance for you to prove yourself, to bring glory to the both of us. I believe in you.” he finishes, gifting Karl with enhanced armor and weapons. _It’s to give him a fighting chance_ Mianite reasons. Everyone else was going to be doing it. T _his is simply for balance, dear sister_ he thought. Karl had to win, this lawless land would crumble without more order.

–

“You and Sparklez are closely matched, my boy” Dianite tells Tom. “This is your chance to prove that you are the stronger champion of the two. If you win, we can stop with all the secrets and I will reveal myself as I truly am, with you as my true follower.” Tom was tired of harboring so many secrets. He suspected that Dianite was somehow involved with the Darkness because that was to be expected of a god of chaos. Tom also realized what the Purge really was, _it’s just another power struggle. Whoever wins increases their god’s strength somehow._

Tom doubted that Jordan would want to participate if he really knew what was at stake. A power struggle meant a significant lack of balance, but this was the Purge. The Purge wasn’t meant to be fair and Tom wanted to win. As much as Dianite compared him to Jordan and goaded him on, Tom only wanted to win to give Dianite more power. It could be an illusion, but the god of chaos did seem significantly weaker. _Probably because he’s been killed twice_ Tom thought. This would even the playing ground for his own god and it was a good excuse for some fun competition.

–

Everyone on the isles knew of Mianite’s corruption. They assumed Dianite had also been corrupted at some point or another – he was the god of chaos after all, and most people equated that with evil. Yet for some reason, no one suspected Ianite - except Tom. Even his offhand comments tended to be in a joking manner, a way to distract from Dianite’s scheming in the background. Both gods and heroes tended to have incorrect judgements regarding Ianite. Surely, if her two brothers were corrupted, she’d be the good one to balance it all out. This was not the case. Balance required Ianite to tap into the Darkness as well, and perhaps the constant underestimation made her corruption the most lethal one yet.

It was a wonder Ianite hadn’t succumbed to the Darkness first. _Not succumbed, partnered_ she thought. She’d tap into its power just enough to kickstart her own. How could she maintain the balance between her two brothers if she wasn’t strong enough to handle both of them? Yes, she had to be stronger, for the sake of balance, naturally.

–

And so, Darkness made its way through the minds of heroes and gods alike. It left gifts for the champions, wondering which would succumb first to the promises of power guaranteed to them. Karl, the one who had initially bound himself to Darkness refused. The man had realized his mistake quite quickly and wanted nothing to do with the Darkness. _Ah, no loss there, he wasn’t the strongest champion anyways._

Darkness almost expected Tom to take the potion and the gem. It could sense the desire, with both gifts the Dianitee could easily take the Purge. But the zombie’s loyalty to his god and friends overwhelmed that desire. He liked chaos, not evil, and he was not to be tempted.

And then there was Jordan. A man of balance, a man with unfailing loyalty to the goddess he’d willed into existence after her destruction. He was intelligent, thorough with his work, and dedicated to maintaining balance within the realm. But he was not without flaws. Nothing he did was ever half-assed, it was all or nothing, _and_ he had a particular weakness for overpowered weapons and gear.

When the Darkness presented Jordan with the potion, he had taken it. No, the captain clarified, he wasn’t accepting the Darkness’ gift, he was keeping it safe for the sake of balance. Of course he wouldn’t use it, but this would prevent the other heroes from using it as well. Oh, but Darkness knew that the man was painfully curious about the potion, he wondered what it’s effects would be like and he wanted to try it. Darkness attempted to tempt the heroes a second. As expected, Tom and Karl refused to accept the Rooting Gem of Darkness. Once again, Jordan took the gift “for safekeeping”

–

Ianite watched her hero closely as he prepared for the impending Purge. She offered to help him, fulfilling his request for levitation arrows and preparing a special sword that would transfer some of her power to him during combat, knowing that her brothers would be doing the same. It wasn’t exactly keeping up a front per se. She was already well aware of Jordan’s blind faith in her, that he truly believed she would never lead him astray. _It’s because of the future_ she thought. _I can essentially get away with anything because he knows of the torment I’ll eventually face_. She would be on the receiving end of an incomprehensible level of pain, so everyone of her acts leading up to her imprisonment was justified in his eyes.

_He sees a simplified version of the world_ Ianite noted. Mianite was good. Dianite was bad. Ianite was neutral – but to him that meant she was good too, even better than Mianite. _Flawed thinking_ she thought, but she could use it to her own advantage _. He trusts me so much_ she realized _that I could ask him to do anything… that could come in handy for the Purge_.

The goddess of balance knew that Jordan was holding onto the gifts from the Darkness. She knew that he had no intent to use them. Not yet at least. _He could use them and he’d be fine_ she thought _. I’ve managed to tap into darkness but not let it overpower me. He can take it, overpower the others and win us the purge. With the sword I can share some of my power with him._

_This is the safest way_ _to ensure victory_ Ianite realized _. He won’t get hurt, we’ll win, and I’ll get that handy little power boost. It’ll be safe._

She turned her attention away from her thoughts and back to what Jordan was doing. He was setting up a vault for the upcoming purge, one that was practically impenetrable. He chuckled to himself as he finished setting up a second set of pistons. “It’s brilliant, I don’t have to care if they know where my vault is” the captain said, voicing his thoughts out loud. “I want them to know where my vault is. You just do a little leap of faith to get in.”

_A little leap of faith, yes, that’s exactly what needs to happen._

–

Come purge day, each champion was a bundle of nerves. Nearly impenetrable vaults had been constructed, valuables were locked away, and god items were kept in hand.

“All fun and games, eh laddies?” Tom joked nervously as the trio waited on his beach for Declan to issue the official rules. Karl said nothing, swallowing hard and gripping the sword gifted to him by Mianite. Jordan managed a small nod and a grimace, feeling more pressure riding on him than the purges used to bring. The priest arrived quickly and as he began to read off a long list of rules, Jordan allowed his thoughts to wander.

He began to review strategies in his head - get to a high ground, be ready swap his chest plate and elytra, hold out on using the potions until absolutely necessary. At the thought of potions, his stomach churned. Since ender chests were banned during purges, Jordan didn’t have anywhere safe to store the Darkness items. He didn’t risk putting them in his vault. Even though he was sure none of the champions would be able to guess his password, he didn’t want anyone else to know that he took the gifts. The others wouldn’t understand that it was for the sake of balance, and he didn’t want to be accused of renouncing his lady to join the darkness.

Jordan _also_ didn’t want anyof the heroes to use the gifts, gods knew what awful side effects would befall the person using objects forged from Darkness itself. The trio had already seen what happened when gods tried to use something made by Darkness, Jordan couldn’t stand putting Ianite at risk of corruption by asking her to hold onto the gifts for him. So here he was on purge day with the items in his inventory, relying on skill alone to keep them safe from everyone else.

The champion of Ianite allowed his thoughts to stray back to the present as the priest finished reading off the rules. “On my count, you have 10 minutes grace period then one hour to fight. Good luck heroes!”

—

_Damn it_ Jordan cursed. He was currently in the lead and there were only 20 minutes left of fighting. No one had managed to kill him yet - Tom had certainly come close but carefully timed regeneration potions and fireworks allowed him to escape and heal. He’d managed to break into Karl’s vault but didn’t risk spending too much time looting there. The followers of Mianite and Dianite had finally realized that they couldn’t take on Jordan alone, so they’d paired up and finally managed to corner him.

“You’ve done well, Sparklez” grinned Tom. “Yeah, mate” Karl agreed “If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was trying to fight a god” he said chuckling.

Jordan shot them a devious grin, using his elytra to fly to a higher ground “You guys haven’t done too poorly yourselves, but I’m afraid todays win has to go to Ianite” he called down to them.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, sparkly pants” teased Tom, approaching him. _Fuck._ With all of the banter, Jordan had unintentionally cornered himself and he didn’t see a way out. He couldn’t let them kill him, there was too much at stake.

_My captain_ Ianite suddenly whispered in his mind. _Yes m’lady?_ he answered quickly, eyes darting between Tom and Karl, who were taking their sweet time advancing on him.

_Do you trust me?_

What an odd question Jordan thought. _Always m’lady._

_I need you to drink the potion the darkness gave you_ she whispered urgently.

He almost tripped as he slowly backed away from the other heroes. Drink the darkness’ potion? Was she out of her mind? _I can protect you_ she continued. _I can imbue my power into your sword and block any undesirable effects of the potion._

_Are you sure?_ he asked, still unconvinced.

_My champion, the winner of this purge will increase the power of their god ten times over. I fear if you do not win, my brothers will become more powerful too quickly and Darkness will tighten its grip on this land. I’m afraid it may accelerate what we both know is in store for me…_

Ianite didn’t particularly enjoy guilt tripping him, but she knew that it was now or never. If she missed her only chance to gain more power than her brothers… _It’ll be just like taking a little leap of faith_ she assured him. Jordan shivered and nodded sharply _. I’ll do it m’lady. Promise you’ll protect me._

_I promise_ she answered quickly, willing him to quicken his motions. Jordan pulled out the potion and downed it swiftly before doubling over in pain.

_JORDAN! JORDAN ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WHAT WAS IN THAT? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?_ is all he heard of his friends shouting before it all went dark.

–

All he knew was pain. It felt like something was tearing apart every fiber of his being and molding it into something new, something that his body didn’t want to be. There was no light, no noise, just…darkness. He felt like something was missing…someone… but there was nothing. _M’lady?_ he tried. _Are you there?_ Jordan was met with deafening silence. He casts about with his mind, trying to find something to distract him from the hurt. He’s alone, taken by the void, cursed to live an eternity of pain until… _there._ He feels a flicker of something, it’s not life and it’s not light but it’s _not the darkness._ Jordan directs all of his focus to that flicker and tries to put a name to it…it’s power. At the realization, he pours everything he has into actualizing the power. _Not the dark, not the pain, not the…_

_Yes, good_ Jordan hears a cold voice say, before raw power surges through him, bringing him crashing back into reality. The unbridled energy engulfs him _it’s_ _too much it’s tearing me apart_ and he’s back. He’s on his knees, a ring of black obsidian exploding outwards from him. He lifts a hand and notes his blackened fingertips with an unfocused gaze, a trail of black smoke following the movements.

“JORDAN” Ianite screams in a terrible, broken voice. _When did she get here?_ he thinks distractedly, looking up disoriented. He finds Tom advancing on him sword raised, face set with bitter determination.

_I can’t fail her now_ Jordan thinks, but what to do? He hasn’t fully regained control of his limbs or senses and he doesn’t know if the Darkness potion has more side effects in store for him.

_The gem_ a cold voice whispers to him, in _a poor imitation of Ianite_ Jordan notes. _Right_. _Because what he needs right now is more darkness fuckery._

_It’s just a little leap of faith_ the not-Ianite all but purrs in his ear. _You’re already quite familiar with the idea I’m sure._

The Rooting Gem of Darkness. Taking it had seemed like the right choice at the time. Take it but don’t use it. Keep the balance. Protect the others from the Darkness’ influence. The gem made its holder impossible to kill and impossible to move. It was the perfect tool for the purge _. But that’s the problem, isn’t it_ thought Jordan. _It’s too perfect, but I’m out of choices._

With movements that don’t feel like his own, Jordan tears out the gem gifted to him by the Darkness and clenches it in his left hand, shakily making his way to his feet.

He doesn’t know what he expected, but it definitely wasn’t Tom swinging his sword in a wide arc, piercing Jordan’s armor and tearing a deep gash in his arm. Tom lets out a yell at the impact and retreats, dropping his now smoking sword when he’s at a safe distance. Jordan inhales and exhales, the curse on the gem preventing him from approaching his friends. He needn’t worry about that. Karl and Tom are already nocking their arrows and shooting at him point blank. _Karl said that fighting me felt like fighting a god_ Jordan remembers miserably. _They probably feel like they’re trying to kill a demon._

The arrows pierce his skin - _poison_ he realizes - a familiar burning sensation making its way through his veins. His vision is blurring, the world is tilting sideways, and once again, his reality is pain.

_Of course, the stupid rock was too good to be true._ True, it wouldn’t let Jordan die, but it didn’t prevent him from taking damage. Poison was racing through his veins slowly suffocating him, blood was dripping from wounds that refused to heal, and his limbs ached from the rush of power he’d experienced only moments before. He didn’t realize that Tom and Karl had stopped their assault. Their lips were moving, he saw sheer panic on their faces, but he couldn’t make out any sound. All he knew was pain, all he knew was hurt and…betrayal. Ianite said she would protect him, but she didn’t. In fact, he couldn’t find their link anyway. _Oh god. Ianite? M’lady?_ No answer. He may as well have been shouting into the void.

Focus Jordan, focus. Once again, he forced his mangled body to ignore the overwhelming pain and fixate on the lingering effects of the darkness potion. And once again, Jordan felt power course through his body, replacing the poison flowing freely through his veins with burning waves of energy. He came to his senses once more, somehow still standing, and realized that it had turned to night, an unnatural inky blackness surrounding the isles. _He’s here, all around us_ Jordan thought. _I failed her._ Darkness had entered their land. The power rippling through his muscles was agony, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t feel, he -

_Kill them_ the cold voice whispered, cutting through agony that was now his existence. _Hurt your friends or I’ll hurt you_ the Darkness threatened.

With the little energy he had left, Jordan forced his head up and smirked. “My world is pain, I dare you to try.” Black lightning coursed through his body and an inhuman noise tore its way out of his mouth.

“KILL ME _”_ Jordan screams through gritted teeth, forced to his knees by the pain. “Tom. Karl. Please” he begs, voice cracking, tears streaming freely down his cheeks. _End me._

_Oh, but that would be too easy, my dear captain_ the Darkness croons. _You’re bound in place by the power of my spirit alone_. _Now do as I say. Kill your so-called friends and join your true god._

“You’re no god” Jordan spits. _Ianite save me_ he prays as arcs of lightning course through his body, eventually making their way around his wrists and ankles, binding him to the ground.

_I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way_ the Darkness sighs, almost regretfully.

It goes for his friends. Jordan, held in place by raw, evil energy can do nothing to stop it from happening. He closes his eyes and tries to ignore his friends’ shouts of pain and cries for help. The noise is deafening and the pain eternal. Jordan has resigned himself to this new hellish reality when everything is suddenly silent.

_I’ll give you credit_ Darkness’s voice filling the void after the massacre _You’re a tough one to crack, aren’t you? Always so noble, every action for the sake of balance. How unfortunate_ it continued _that balance itself can be corrupted._

Jordan lets his head hang, almost numb from the pain that’s been wracking his body for gods know how long.

_You were greedy. You lusted after power just like your foolish gods and look where it’s brought you. Your friends don’t trust you. They’re dying, dear captain, and it’s your fault. You’ve done this to them._

Jordan doesn’t have enough fight left in him to come up with a witty response. He stays kneeling, body no longer supporting him, held in place only by the black lightning that binds his limbs. _She said she’d protect me_ he thinks, completely numb to the outside world. _She promised…_

_Look at you_ the Darkness continues, scorning the almost-defeated man. _Ianite’s once mighty champion who fell so easily to temptation_. _Why hasn’t she come for you, captain? You were so loyal to her, blind in your faith to her deception. Too loyal to realize that she succumbed to the Darkness long before anyone would even consider suspecting her._

“Kill me” Jordan whispers. He refuses to believe that Ianite would abandon him. He refuses to believe that she would throw his loyalty aside so carelessly. _Why have you left me, Ianite? Where have you gone?_

_I’m not done having my fun with you yet, little hero_ the Darkness crooned. _You will join me, soon enough_ it promised. _It’ll just take a little leap of faith._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> five times jordan resists the darkness and one time he doesn’t

Jordan was back. Mianite and Dianite had appeared suddenly in Dec’s house weeks after the disastrous purge, toting the broken body of Ianite’s champion between them. It was hard to believe that he was even alive, with every limb bent at a wrong unnatural angles, skin an unfortunate masterpiece of bruises and lacerations, chest barely rising and falling with each breath he struggled to take.

“His scars will be far greater than physical” warned Mianite. “My brother and I will be able to keep him alive for a time, but only his bond with Ianite can restore him to the man you once knew.”

“We dare not intervene for too long” continued Dianite. “The Darkness has too strong of a hold on him, we fear that our presence may be noticed and taken advantage of.”

“What…happened to him?” whispered Tom, unable to tear his eyes away from Jordan’s mangled body. Dianite and Mianite exchanged a glance and shook their heads, their silence speaking volumes to the stunned occupants in the room.

“We must go now” Mianite declared, exchanging another look with Dianite. “Take care of him, heroes. I fear that this is only the beginning.” With that dire message, the gods of order and chaos departed, leaving the trio trying to process all that had happened.

Ianite was Jordan’s only hope for total recovery, but she hadn’t been seen since the purge. No one had seen what happened to her when Jordan drank the Potion of Darkness, all they’d heard was a terrible scream and she was gone. Dec managed to shoo Tom and Karl out of his house _“I have work to do, and you two will just be in the way”_ and slowly nursed Jordan back to health, but his worst fears were confirmed. Jordan wasn’t safe yet, and his future wasn’t looking bright.

\- one -

Jordan was back. He didn’t know how long he’d been in Darkness’ realm and his mind refused to let him relive the period between the purge and the present. He was faintly aware of the fact that Dec had nursed him back to health, but that was it. Everyone was walking on eggshells around him. He understood it, he knew he’d do the same if the Darkness has claimed a different champion. That didn’t make it any easier.

No one wanted to broach the topic of Jordan’s “time away” as they started to call it. He insisted that he was fine, that he couldn’t remember anything. Tom and Karl eventually relented in their pestering, but their unease with the whole situation was still blatantly obvious. Admitting that life wasn’t back to normal would be admitting that the Darkness had succeeded, and Jordan wasn’t about to let that happen. _He’s says he’s fine, but god, he’s broken, isn’t he? He’s supposed to be the balance, keep everything equal, even more so with Ianite’s absence - but how can he hold everyone else together when he doesn’t even know how to keep himself from falling apart?_

What Dec knew and what the others could only suspect was true. Darkness hadn’t released its grip on Jordan, content to hold on to its new prize for as long as possible. Jordan fought it, oh _god_ he fought it. Every breath he took was an act of defiance, every step he forced himself to take a revolution in miniature against the Darkness. _I’m here, I’m alive,_ _I don’t belong to you_. The whispers in his mind never left him, _Let me help you, Captain. Let me make it better, I can stop the hurt_. God was it tempting. Jordan could barely trust his own hands anymore, terrified that the second he let his guard down, his sword would be at the throats of all of his friends with him unable to do anything about it. He refused to give the Darkness the control over him. His own body was at war with itself, his very essence torn between light and dark. _When will you learn, little champion t_ he Darkness would croon _that your sacred balance is merely a way to avoid making a choice._ The literal embodiment of evil was trying to take over Jordan’s body and Ianite’s lightness that had once protected him was gone. He could hold out for now through sheer willpower alone, but Darkness’ influence was beginning to take a physical toll.

His eyes, once a soft brown had darkened to nearly black. His fingertips which had been blackened during Darkness’ first appearance hadn’t healed. Inky tendrils had slowly stretched across his skin, encircling his wrists and winding up his arms, reminiscent of the lightning bonds that had restrained him weeks ago. His own body was betraying him, the brunt of bearing the Darkness weighing his shoulders down, making every step harder to take, making it harder to breathe, making his life living _hell._ He did his best to cover the physical markings, but it didn’t make a difference. The others knew he was different now, long sleeves and shades couldn’t mask what he’d been through.

Jordan wouldn’t stop fighting. If balance falls, destruction runs rampant. Jordan wouldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t let it happen. And so he took life one excruciating day at a time, every second he moves through the pain an act of defiance to the entity that wanted to see the world burn. To see the world burn _by Jordan’s hand._

 _-_ two -

Mianite and Dianite hadn’t been seen since they deposited Jordan’s broken body in the priest’s house, but they’d been communicating with their champions and the priest remotely. It wasn’t safe for the gods to manifest they said. This will be safer they said. Jordan knew the truth - they were scared of him. He couldn’t be trusted, now more Darkness than Ianitee. He was a ticking time bomb; no one knew when he would detonate but when it did happen, it was going to be catastrophic.

Mianite and Dianite’s absences were a telling sign of the times, but Ianite’s disappearance was even more disturbing. When Jordan first drank the potion of darkness, he couldn’t feel their bond at all, it had evaporated entirely. He vaguely remembered a terrible scream during the purge, but that was the last he’d heard from her. Their bond wasn’t completely broken, Jordan had a feeling that he would legitimately die if that were the case. Nonetheless, all that could be felt of his lady was the tiniest pinprick of light which only served to remind him of how broken, how feeble their connection was.

The Darkness did its best to break him, to destroy that last little bit of light. It felt massive, all-encompassing compared to the smidgen of light that kept Jordan from throwing everything away. He wouldn’t let the evil win, Jordan wouldn’t abandon his lady. But Ianite had all but abandoned _him_ with her stunt during the purge, nearly breaking their champion-goddess bond seemingly with ease.

 _No._ _That wasn’t really her, it was the Darkness._ Darkness was stronger than anyone on the isles could have imagined, it’s influence even capable of corrupting gods. _How the hell am I still alive?_ Jordan had accidentally allowed his thoughts to betray him, the Darkness helping to amplify every one of his doubts and fears. _I can’t blame her for what_ happened he reminded himself. _That’s how the Darkness wins_. Jordan was sure she knew the risks, _but she promised_ a snide voice whispered in his mind. _She said she’d protect you._ Jordan shook his head banishing the thoughts from his mind. _Don’t let it win._

\- three -

As much as he tried not to let his mind wander, Jordan’s thoughts automatically lingered on Ianite. It _must_ have been the Darkness that corrupted her, it wasn’t really her during the purge. It wasn’t his lady who had sacrificed him so easily for her own gain. He mattered to her more than that, right? Surely he did.

He had his doubts… but he couldn’t, shouldn’t. _This must be a test_ Jordan convinced himself. _If he could prove his loyalty again it’d be okay, it had to be._ His blind faith in Ianite had hurt him before, but maybe it was the only way he could get out of this. He clung to the belief that the goddess of balance was still out there, weak, and maybe broken like him too. Their bond wasn’t completely gone, he’d know if it was gone, _right? Right?_ With a bitter laugh, Jordan moved his focus back to the present. _I’m going mad._

 _-_ four -

Jordan didn’t know if his friends made this whole situation better or worse. At this point in time, he was leaning towards the latter. Once, they roamed the isles like kings, building up the land to their hearts content, developing more personal relationships with the gods, playing harmless pranks on one another. _Once_. Jordan’s life was now split into two segments – his life before the purge and his existence after. He hesitated to call his present existence life _. If every breath was forced, every heartbeat a struggle, was he really living?_

 _Once._ He could meet Tom and Karl’s eyes, joke around, laugh, and be genuinely happy. _Once._ His friends didn’t hesitate to talk to him, didn’t approach him like he was a feral animal, unsure of when he would lash out. _You did this to them_ the Darkness whispered. He pretended he was fine. The others were scared of him, scared _for_ him, but his mind refused to acknowledge the distinction. Instead, Jordan threw himself into side projects, away from his thoughts, away from his friends, distancing himself from those who loved him.

 _Once_. When life was normal, Jordan wouldn’t hesitate to prank his friends, go on adventures in far off lands, simply be with them. _But life wasn’t normal, was it_? Not with the darkness whispering in his ear constantly, reminding him how easy it would be to _burn the world to the ground_ , too easy to _shoot an arrow directly into Tom’s heart_ , too easy to _destroy_ if you **_join me_**. Jordan couldn’t fight this forever. But he had to, for the sake of balance. For the sake of the others. He was so _tired._

\- five -

At night, the Darkness whispered louder, stronger in its own domain. Nighttime used to feel safe, similar to the End, the land Ianite watched over. Without her presence, the blackness of night was suffocating and all-encompassing. Without her presence, Darkness could reign.

_Your own friends don’t trust you, your goddess abandoned you, you’re **nothing**_

_Not true not true not true_ Jordan resists teeth gritted, _it’s because of you, you did all of this, not me._

 _Ah yes,_ the Darkness croons _but you allowed it to happen, you surrendered so easily._

 _Not true…_ Jordan couldn’t fight this forever. But he had too, for the sake of the others. He was tired. He was broken.

-

It was only a matter of time, really. How long could someone last, how long could they _survive_ if everything that mattered to them was taken away? The Darkness wanted to strip Jordan of _everything_ \- his goddess, his friends, his identity, _his very essence_. Taking the goddess of balance out of the equation was surprisingly easy. Everyone, even gods, had fears. Everyone, even gods, could be tempted. A few well-timed whispers – promises of power, promises of glory – and the Darkness had Ianite wrapped around its finger, to her detriment naturally. With the goddess gone, it was only a matter of time before the captain caved.

\- one -

Jordan was alone. Weeks of prayers and pleading into the void hadn’t done anything to bring Ianite back. Mianite and Dianite stayed silent, refusing to interact with Jordan, refusing to give him anything to work with. _Stupid bastards_ Jordan thought. _All they care about is self-preservation. They don’t give a flying fuck about their sister being gone. They’re probably ecstatic that they don’t have to deal with her anymore._ He sat on the floor of Ianite’s temple, staring out into the ocean, trying to find a reason to keep going.

Jordan couldn’t trust anyone anymore. The gods had abandoned him, their champions following suit. Tom and Karl had eventually stopped checking in with Jordan, incapable of holding meaningful conversations without acknowledging Ianite’s absence. _Ianite was first_ he thought _they’re just waiting for me to disappear too._

He couldn’t trust his own mind either. It was getting harder and harder to distinguish his own thoughts from the whispers of the Darkness. _Was it even worth it to keep fighting? Everything is already out of control._ The bond Jordan shared with Ianite was all but disintegrated, the lone speck of light dim enough that it could be lost to the void. _I can’t trust myself_ Jordan thought numbly _I have nothing left._

 _I can bring her back, you know_ the Darkness interrupted. _I forced her to leave this realm, but I can bring her back if you join me_. Jordan sighed. _Not this again._ But he found himself legitimately considering the idea. _I survived last time, I could survive again._ His thoughts drifted back to the purge, when he drank the potion of darkness, _when he still had a goddess._

The Darkness was forcing his hand of course, but it offered him a chance to save Ianite. It offered him _power. That’s what saved me from the void last time_ he realized. _Not the gods, definitely not Ianite, power._ This offer was a way out – an escape from the constant pain, a chance to bring back Ianite, a chance to be in control again. _God, he was so tired of fighting._ And for what really? _Nothing_ Jordan realized. _He was resisting for no reason._

He took a deep breath in and exhaled, lowering the mental shields he’d put up for weeks, allowing exhaustion to overtake his body. As the Darkness finally flowed freely through his body, Jordan only had one thought.

_Forgive me._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> five times jordan goes along with the darkness and one time he doesn’t

The Darkness knew that it would never share the same bond that Ianite had with her champion, not as long as Jordan was acting of his own accord. Millennia had passed, time flowing freely without abandon, but the goddess of balance had only ever taken a single champion. The captain, it seemed, was… _unique._ There was something more to their connection, something the Darkness couldn’t quite comprehend. It understood loyalty, it understood lust and greed, but it couldn’t make sense of the love that bound Ianite to her champion. It gave Ianite the Captain’s undying trust and devotion, _but with what in return?_ _Never mind that_ , there was no use in focusing on matters beyond its control. It was time to focus on the real issue at hand.

Ianite’s champion was strong and _exceedingly_ stubborn, but he’d only be this weak for so long. Darkness didn’t want to let the captain get away so easily, not like _last time_. Mianite and Dianite had shown up in the nick of time to ferry the man away to safety, the once proud hero mere inches from death. But this time, _this time_ , Jordan had willingly given himself up to the Darkness, finally exhausted by the trials of living, no, _surviving_ a corrupted half-life. Darkness had to act quickly to ensure that Ianite’s only champion wouldn’t escape again.

 _Damnit_ … the unfortunate truth was that Ianite couldn’t be disposed of entirely, not yet at least. It was the captain’s blind faith in his lady that brought him into Darkness’ grasp in the first place, and Darkness would be a fool not to use that to its advantage.

\- one -

 _This may have been a mistake._ Jordan had expected more pain when the Darkness swept over him, tainting the holiest grounds of the goddess of balance, corrupting Ianite’s champion in her very own temple. Even as he allowed his shoulders to slump and mental barriers crumble, his body automatically tensed, all too used to mind-numbingly painful barrages from the Darkness. _I’m so tired of being hurt._

Instead it was quiet. Too quiet. Cold. Dark. Alone.

_Alone._

The flicker of the once unbreakable bond between Ianite and her sole champion was gone.

Pain, Jordan could deal with. _Except he couldn’t, really_ whispered a smug voice in his mind. _You weren’t strong in the slightest. You gave up so easily_ **.** He wasn’t ready for the pain last time. He didn’t know just how powerful the Darkness was and he had made the mistake of counting on Ianite to help him. Jordan was ready for more pain, but it hadn’t come, there was just…nothing. He could even deal with the physical darkness, living in an endless and suffocating void. _It was only_ _fair_ he thought _punishment for what he’d done to his lady, an eternal reminder._

Jordan _wasn’t_ prepared to be alone.

 _But you’re not alone_ the same voice whispered. _Oh captain, my poor, poor captain_ the Darkness crooned, appearing before Jordan, who remained kneeling on the temple floor.

The shadows in the room took on a vaguely humanoid shape, wisps of the dark, smoke-like substance twisting together to form a torso, a cloak, Darkness itself imitating man. The hooded figure reached out a hand, pausing a few inches from the captain’s face. _I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, dear one._ With two shadowy fingers, it tilted Jordan’s head up, forcing him to make eye contact. It gently traced its hand down Jordan’s cheek, almost in awe, letting its hand come to rest on his cheek. In the silence of the empty temple, the Darkness allowed itself to indulge in the sight of the former champion of Ianite, on his knees in front of his true master.

“My lord” Jordan murmured, closing his eyes and leaning into the shadowy hand cupping his cheek.

The words felt foreign on his tongue, uncomfortably familiar to the usual _m’lady_ he would chirp to Ianite, but the title was undoubtedly correct for the Darkness. After spending so much time alone, isolated from gods and heroes alike, Jordan practically melted at the gentle caress of the evil being. Once, being treated like something made of glass would have offended Jordan, being seen as weak would be a source of indignation. But now, he found himself leaning into the touch, desperate for a semblance of care, desperate for someone or something to help him. He found that care in the Darkness.

 _My sweet captain_ the Darkness crooned, continuing to stroke Jordan’s cheek, almost absentmindedly. _I did make you a promise regarding your former goddess._ Jordan flinched, the dark haze that had been shrouding his mind evaporating at the mention of Ianite. _I know you’re hurting, little champion,_ it continued _but I can make the pain go away, once and for all._

“You’ll…bring her back?” Jordan managed to ask, voice cracking. With a great deal of effort, he forced himself to stand and leaned heavily on his sword, already missing the soothing touch of the Darkness. _This is too good to be true_ he thought, turning his focus to the evil being’s face.

It held a carefully crafted neutral expression, as it continued to speak. _Your bond with the goddess is…remarkable to say the least,_ the façade breaking as Darkness grimaced. _I shall bring her back to this world and she will help to sustain you until I can…resolve this situation. Pain should no longer be an issue, dear captain._

With that, the shadows that made up Darkness’ figure dispersed to the corners of the temple, then rose quickly, enveloping the room in a black void that was impossible to see through. Panic began to well up in Jordan’s throat at the sudden onset of darkness, but just as quickly as the void appeared, it disintegrated, leaving behind a very familiar figure, swathed in purple robes. _Ianite._

The relief he felt at seeing his lady again was insurmountable. Their bond hesitantly flickered back into existence, fueled by his happiness at seeing his goddess again. The bond was weak compared to the darkness that had infested the isles, but it burned resolutely. Invigorated by the sudden reconnection, Jordan allowed his thoughts race, trying to figure out how he could come out on top through all of this. _I have to_ _let the Darkness think that I’m its champion, but I’ll stay loyal to my lady_. _It’ll be easy enough to convince it of my loyalty_ he continued, thoughts drifting back to the way his body all but gave itself up to the Darkness, surrendering to the lightest of touches.

“Don’t worry m’lady, I’ll get us out of this” he says firmly, more to reassure himself than anything.

“Of course, little one” Ianite responds, a small, sad smile gracing her features.

Too caught up in the events of the day, Jordan failed to notice the blackness that flickered in Ianite’s green and purple eyes when she spoke, and how the lines on her face grew more apparent as they talked. He didn’t see how every word that came out of her mouth was forced, how her back and shoulders stiffened from some unseen pain. He didn’t even notice that her aura, once a light lavender, had changed to a dark violet, mere shades away from black. All of it was lost on him.

Jordan took a deep breath in and exhaled harshly. His lady was here now – more or less – so this _had_ to be the right choice. _I’ve saved her before and I can do it again_ Jordan thought fiercely. _I just have to play the Darkness at its own game. I can control this. I can handle it._

 _Oh, little champion_ the Darkness hummed to itself, watching Jordan with amusement. _You’re already mine, not hers._

\- two -

A few days after the events in the temple had allowed Jordan to regroup his thoughts and thoroughly analyze what had taken place. He realized immediately that the Ianite the Darkness had brought back wasn’t truly his lady. A small part of his goddess was in there somewhere, helping to keep their bond alive, helping to keep _Jordan_ alive - but for all intents and purposes, Ianite wasn’t really present. Jordan was also slightly concerned by how easily his body had betrayed him to the Darkness, falling apart at the slightest touch. He’d have to work on that, but at least for now, it would help convince the Darkness that Jordan was on his side.

 _I’ve done this before, I can do it again_ is what he’d repeat to himself whenever his resolve started to waver. Sometimes all Jordan wanted to do was sink into the cold, numbing void that Darkness offered, lose himself in the tenderness that he knew was readily available to him. Sometimes Jordan just wanted to take the easy route, take the strength and protection Darkness offered, stop with all of the false premises. At his lowest moments, Jordan’s already weak bond with Ianite would flicker dangerously, almost winking out of existence, and he’d have to steel himself once more. _This is worth fighting for._

So Jordan goes through with the Darkness’ training. He accepts weapons and armor the other gods and heroes could only dream of. He spars with the Agent of Darkness on a daily basis, refining his skills with sword, bow, and dagger. Every time he’s bested only serves to motivate him to become better, stronger, faster, _deadlier._ The peace of the isles has gone on for too long, so Jordan calls for weekly purges again, an idea which is accepted surprisingly quickly by the others, despite the disastrous first attempt. During the purges, he completely ignores the flimsy attempts Tom and Karl have made at vaults, devoting all of his attention to racking up the most kills.

In the past, Jordan was never able to shoot at or even _kill_ his friends without feeling a surge of guilt, even when it was in the spirit of good competition. _Now,_ it comes easily. _I haven’t changed_ he thinks, but he was getting used to the power, right? He was simply using the tools and skills the Darkness had so graciously gifted him with - _practicing_ he decides _is all this is._ _This will help save them all,_ Jordan thinks as he easily fires another arrow into one of the heroes’ heart. He’s mapping out their preferred fighting strategies, moves, weaknesses, strong points. It’s for later, of course, for when they eventually have to fight the Darkness. It’s so Jordan can know how to use every heroes’ strengths and weaknesses to their advantage. Jordan is smart and quiet and calculating – a deadly combination - but this isn’t easy for him. It _can’t_ be _, he won’t let it_ become a natural instinct to shoot, to kill, _to set the world on fire. But this is already too easy, isn’t it?_

As attuned as he is to the fighting styles of the other heroes, Jordan doesn’t notice that he himself fights better in the shadows, taking advantage of other chaos to swoop in for the kill. He’s nothing but clever, but he doesn’t realize that he’s getting stronger. The hunt doesn’t leave him exhausted, rather it leaves him starving for more strategy, more fighting, more kills. _More, more, more_ the Darkness urges him, or is that his own mind betraying him?

The little humanity left in Jordan, the inkling of Ianite’s presence is begging him to stop, screaming for him to break free of Darkness’ grasp, but the pleas fall on deaf ears. Once blind in his faith to Ianite, Jordan is now blind to the reality of his actions.

Ianite would have Jordan wait to be provoked before attacking, but that was no longer the case. Not for the purge. Not anymore. He knew that she wouldn’t approve of his new tactics, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. So what if things were a little chaotic right now? Everything he was doing was for Ianite, everything he was doing was helping to save her and restore the balance. Jordan had to ensure that Darkness remained convinced of his loyalty and certain sacrifices had to be made. _This isn’t exactly the hardest thing you’ve ever done_ an accusatory voice said in his mind. Jordan ignored it. Darkness had no control over him, and he’d make sure it’d stay that way.

In the ever persistent shadows of the isles, Darkness laughed in delight at the captain’s ignorance.

\- three -

Jordan had changed and everyone on the isles knew it. Declan would look at Jordan with an odd expression, almost…pity? But he never pressed Jordan for details. Tom and Karl were still skirting around him, but the weekly purges had forced more interactions that allowed for conversations to flow a little more freely. It wasn’t situation normal, but it was a great improvement from the weeks after Jordan had been rescued from Darkness’ domain. Mianite and Dianite cautiously began visiting the isles more frequently, but neither lingered long around Jordan or even Ianite, evidently aware of the new connection the captain shared with the evil being.

Unfortunately, with things seemingly back to normal, Tom was all too happy to return to his usual shenanigans. Jordan may have appreciated some light pranks as they would allow for heavy retaliation, but Tom’s focus went to one person – Ianite. Apparently not content with just one god, Tom continued to keep up his “follower of Ianite” front, much to Jordan’s dismay. For the most part, they were harmless comments, subtle word choices that could potentially convince an unassuming observer. Jordan could have dealt with Tom’s stupid comments, brushed them off with ease, but then Ianite decided to play along with it.

Maybe if Jordan’s mind was clearer, he’d realize that it wasn’t actually his lady indulging in the zombie’s mischief. Maybe he’d realize that it was Darkness controlling the Ianite figure in their world, responding to and encouraging Tom. A wedge was being driven between Jordan, his best friend, and his goddess, and Darkness was at the source of it. It was another way for the evil being to ensure that it had Jordan’s unfailing loyalty, by driving everyone else who cared about him out of the picture. But Jordan _wasn’t_ thinking clearly. He hadn’t been thinking clearly for a long time.

It takes some time, but Jordan eventually snaps. It’s not one particular comment that sets him off, rather it’s a chain reaction of negativity. He hasn’t been sleeping well for weeks, his mind finally coming to terms with the horrors he experienced in Darkness’ realm all that time ago. It’s getting even harder for Jordan to resist succumbing to the Darkness when he collapses into bed at the end of the day. When he closes his eyes, Darkness is waiting for him with open arms. Now, more often than not, Jordan allows himself to sink into those arms, relishing the close contact, losing himself in the peaceful numbness the void offers. In that embrace, all thoughts of saving Ianite and betraying the Darkness flee from his mind.

The constant training combined with the weekly purges have left Jordan exhausted, and the lack of sleep is making him more irritable than usual. His morning training session with the Agent of Darkness went poorly, the lack of sleep ruining any semblance of coordination he had the day before. Jordan left the session earlier than usual in a foul mood, nursing several more cuts and bruises than usual. So when Tom makes some badly timed joke about being Ianite’s true champion, Jordan is on him in an instant.

His weeks of training and instinct kick and Jordan finds himself quickly disarming then pinning Tom against the nearest wall, the tip of his sword under the zombie’s chin, and how _easy_ would it be to _push_ just a little harder, to get that terrible grin off his best friend’s face for good… Jordan is beyond pissed, his thoughts barely coherent. That’s _his_ lady - Tom doesn’t understand half of what Jordan is enduring right now to save Ianite, to save _Tom_ and the rest of his friends from the chaos that Darkness promised to bring to the isles… Ianite is Jordan’s goddess alone and how _dare_ she indulge Tom’s fantasies -

 _Oh._ He’s not mad at Tom. Well he is, but the real source of his anger is Ianite. _Oh god_ he thinks, realization washing over him like a bucket of ice water. He drank the darkness potion at her instruction then made a _suicidal_ bargain to bring her back. He’s saved her _god knows_ how many times and this? _This_ is what she does to him?

Jordan had gone from seething mad to deadly silent almost instantaneously. His eyes, which had previously been the color of melted chocolate, were anything but warm. Now so dark they were almost black, his eyes had hardened to burning chips of obsidian. His jaw was clenched, his entire posture going stiff, grip tightening even further on the sword he still held to Tom’s throat. The black tendrils that had marked Jordan since he drank the potion of darkness all that time ago were almost glowing with an unnatural darkness, a stark contrast to his pale skin. Jordan was normally a quiet, reserved person but this silence was deafening. It was a heavy, lethal silence. It carried an unbreaking promise of revenge. Tom had seen Jordan in combat before, but this was an entirely different person. Everything about him screamed _DANGER_ , his expression and body language warning everyone to _get out of his way_.

Tom wasn’t smiling anymore. He’d quickly realized that this wasn’t normal. This isn’t his best friend in front of him. This isn’t _his_ Jordan. This is someone else.

Tom was left reeling as Jordan departs suddenly. _What the fuck_ he breathes out, the adrenaline rush abandoning him as he slides down the wall to sit on the floor. _What the hell am I supposed to do now?_ he thinks. Dianite offers him no response _. Great timing you bastard_ he sighs, letting his head fall into his hands.

\- four –

Jordan could barely keep his thoughts in order as he elytrad away from Tom’s island towards his own. He’d obviously given Tom a scare back there _but at least I didn’t hurt him_ he thought grimly. His little show of force may have hinted too much at his involvement with the Darkness, but actually hurting Tom would have made the situation ten times worse. As much as the Darkness tried to persuade him not to, Jordan couldn’t help but worry for the safety of his friends. At the end of the day, Jordan only had Dec, Karl, and Tom tying him to the mortal world, and he’d be _damned_ if he let anything happen to them that he could prevent.

The harder Jordan tried to keep the events of the isles within his control, the less and less it seemed that he could handle it. He didn’t know what his goddess’ true motives were with Tom, but they certainly weren’t making any of this any easier. _If this is another one of her twisted tests of loyalty…_ Jordan refused to dwell on that thought. He just hoped that Tom wouldn’t read too much into his violent reaction and simply interpret it as a display of Jordan’s fierce dedication to Ianite.

 _Ianite._ A bitter laugh made its way out of Jordan’s throat, a laugh that didn’t quite sound like his own. He couldn’t let small matters like friendship cloud his mind right now. Jordan was tired of Ianite’s games, tired of playing both sides for _her_ sake, putting his life on the line with _every break he takes,_ and receiving _jack_ _shit_ in return. Less than jack shit actually. Every day he had to go along with each one of the Darkness’ requests while trying to keep that damned spark of a bond from blinking out of existence. Every day the pull of the Darkness grew stronger, yet Ianite _dared_ to consider taking on another hero as her champion.

Jordan curses as he realizes that he’s passed his island, too caught up in his thoughts. He turns around quickly and lands sloppily in front of his battler tower. The Darkness is already waiting for him in its shadowy human form. It reaches out and places a hand on Jordan’s shoulder, steadying him. Jordan takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm down, savoring the reassuring warmth Darkness’ touch brings.

 _You are right to feel this way, little champion_ the Darkness intones, rubbing slow circles into Jordan’s shoulder. _It may be time to bring your…thoughts…to her attention. I can help summon her to your temple, if you so wish._

Jordan nods, swallowing the bile that’s risen in his throat at the idea of finally confronting her. He was done playing her games, and it was time for her to know. She was weak enough that any retaliation shouldn’t hurt him too badly but –

 _I can offer you protection, little champion_ the Darkness interjects. _My favor will protect you from anything she attempts, but just in case…_

A single arrow appears, hovering in front of Jordan. It looks like any other ordinary arrow, but when he takes it in hand, tendrils of pure darkness wind around the shaft, and Jordan swears he can feel it _humming_ in his hand.

 _A tainted arrow,_ the Darkness explains _capable of killing god or mortal with ease. It may seem a little…extreme, but I only wish for your safety._

Jordan’s heart swells in his chest – when was the last time Ianite outright declared that she valued his safety? Trying to keep his hand from shaking, Jordan carefully places the tainted arrow in his quiver, secretly hoping that he never has to use it. Steeling himself one last time, he dives into the cool waters below his island, making his way to Ianite’s temple.

-

As soon as he sets foot in her temple, Jordan begins to question whether or not this confrontation was even worth it. _Disrupting the balance isn’t worth it_ he thinks, but his true thoughts betray him. He closes his eyes and thinks back to every time Ianite has wronged him - her broken promises, casual flirtations with the other champions, every time she hadn’t seemed to give two _fucks_ about him. The anger that he’d managed to subdue earlier was back in full force.

Darkness watched the captain carefully, making sure Jordan wasn’t aware that his thoughts were being manipulated to emphasize all of his worst memories of Ianite. Jordan’s eyes snap open suddenly, and Darkness starts, fearing that its interference may have been detected.

“I’m ready” the captain says instead. “Bring her to me.”

The Darkness nods and raises its arms. Jordan shields his eyes as lightning strikes Ianite’s temple and the skies roll with thunder. Opening his eyes again, he sees that Darkness has left but now there are three figures standing in the doorway of the temple.

“This is a private matter” Jordan sighs, as Karl, Dec, and Tom make their way over to him.

“Sorry mate, but it’s really not” says Karl, eyeing Jordan wearily. “Tom told us what happened earlier. Something right sketchy is goin’ on and I think we deserve to know what it is”

Jordan looks towards Tom and Dec, but they share the same stubborn, determined look as Karl. He sighs again. “It’s really nothing you guys, I’ve just had a long day” he insists, rubbing his face.

His friends start to protest but Ianite suddenly appears, interrupting the argument.

“Ianite” Jordan says harshly, forgetting the presence of his friends and fixing the goddess with an icy glare.

“Hello, captain” she responds pleasantly “Why have you requested my presence? Is something the matter?”

“Is something the matter?” Jordan asks in disbelief, eyes widening. _She really doesn’t know? She really doesn’t care, does she?_ Ianite continues to look confused. “Have I done anything wrong?” she asks, cocking her head curiously.

He lets out a derisive laugh. “ _Have you done anything wrong?_ Are you out of your _goddamn mind?_ Where do I _fucking_ start?” Ianite flinches away while the other heroes shift uncomfortably, startled by Jordan’s sudden outburst.

Jordan exhales, allowing waves of emotion to overcome him. Anger, loneliness, desperation, _betrayal._ For so long he’d shoved his feelings aside, desperately trying to convince himself that _they didn’t matter, they were only getting in the way. He needed to focus on the task at hand, he had to protect Ianite at any cost, regardless of how she treated him. That was his role in this world, nothing more._ That all stopped _now._

“You want to know what’s wrong?” he asks dangerously, voice barely more than a whisper. “You want to know why you’re all here right now?” Jordan’s eyes are flashing, his expression hard. He keeps his voice low and refuses to let it shake as he continues.

“It’s because of _her_.” He turns to face the goddess of balance.

“Everything you’ve ever done has been out of selfishness. Every promise you made me, every time you used me as a fucking pawn – it’s never been about our connection, has it _my lady?_ It’s always been about power. You were _all too happy_ to let Darkness whisper in your ear, promise you the power that you could only _dream_ of. No price it listed was too high, not even _your own champion_.”

“I _trusted_ you, Ianite” Jordan hissed. “My _fucking bad”_

“My captain…I – I never realized” Ianite stutters, looking terrified.

“Of course you never _fucking_ realized. You don’t have an _inkling_ of what I’ve done for you, do you? I’ve gone through hell and back in your name. Every order you’ve given me I’ve followed blindly. Every. Single. One. You _promised_ that you’d protect me when you told me to drink that potion and you did _shit._ I’m _tired_ , Ianite. I’m _tired_ of all of your fucking games.”

“Jordan…” Tom whispers hesitantly, concern

Jordan ignores him, eyes still fixed on Ianite “I’ve never meant _shit_ to you, have I? Every time I defended your name, every time I resisted the Darkness for you, none of it _fucking_ mattered to you. I’ve been loyal to you from the very beginning and _this? This_ is how you treat me? I’m done. I’m fucking done. You win.”

Everyone in the room is looking on with fear, terrified of what’s about to come.

“I reject my title as the Champion of Ianite” Jordan spits, anger getting the best of him. Ianite is still looking at him with a terrified, pleading expression which only serves to make him angrier.

“ _Jordan!”_ Dec shouts in desperation “Wait! You can’t-

_“I renounce Ianite, Goddess of Balance, and everything she stands for. May every one of you witness my one and only truth”_

\- five –

Jordan’s world is pain. He knew it was coming but this was entirely different from anything he’d ever felt. Gods didn’t take champions lightly, didn’t form nearly unbreakable bonds with mortals on a whim Being the champion of a god was supposed to be a permanent affair, bonds _weren’t supposed to break_.

He feels every thread of the bond break as if the bond he and Ianite had shared was strong and brand new. Hundreds of connections in the form of memories and feelings disintegrated instantly at his words, each broken thread another knife in his back. It felt like lightning striking his body, overwhelming his senses his very essence being torn to shreds because _how dare he renounce his goddess? How dare he cast aside the favor of a god?_

But Jordan’s been living in pain for too long, and what’s a little more? _It’s too much, it’s killing him, this emptiness is going to rip me apart, I can’t handle it –_

 _My brave, little champion_ the Darkness whispers, a brief interruption from the pain. _I’m sorry this had to happen. Your soul was so deeply entwined with Ianite’s that your body doesn’t know how to function without a god. You must declare your loyalty to me else I fear you may die. With your words, I can save you, I can repair your soul and stop the pain, but you must pledge yourself to me._

Jordan felt like glass, shattering into millions of pieces but he embraced the pain, allowing it to fuel his next words.

_“I accept my role as the Champion of Darkness. I hereby pledge my loyalty to the Darkness, the master I have been destined to serve”_

Darkness enveloped the captain, curling up his arms and through his veins, encircling and mending his soul. With a gasp Jordan opened his eyes, but his body was no longer his own. He drew his sword and sank to the floor.

“What are your orders, my lord?” he asked reverently.

Darkness finally had complete control.

-

Darkness wanted to see the world burn, wanted to see the world burn by the hand of Ianite’s former champion. And now it did. The courthouse was the first to go. A place reserved specifically for fairness and justice couldn’t be allowed to stand in this new age of destruction. Using the powers infused in him by Darkness, Jordan struck the building once, twice, thrice with pure black lightning, rendering the building to fire and smoke.

Next to go was the Tank of Judgement, another building favored by the goddess of balance. It too crumbled under Jordan’s hand, the captain letting out a harsh, terrible laugh as it crumbled into the sea. Jordan had never been allowed to be this rampant in his chaos, and he was _thriving_ in the destruction. The other heroes had fled when Jordan renounced Ianite, but one by one, they would be hunted too. Farms, homes, and temples were reduced to ash at the will of the Darkness, until only one remained standing. _Ianite’s temple._

It was where the other heroes decided to make their last stand. Karl was the first one to approach Jordan, his Sword of Order raised and ready to strike. Jordan waved his hand and inky shadows wrapped around Mianite’s champion, slamming him into a temple wall. Karl didn’t rise. Next was Dec, who attempted to engage from further away, using a bow infused with power from all three Mianitian gods. Another wave of Jordan’s hand disintegrated the bow and arrow instantly, the explosion flinging the priest across the temple to join Karl. Dec didn’t rise either.

Tom was the only one left standing. _Fitting_ Darkness and Jordan thought together. _This one, we fight._ Jordan was a terrible and fearsome sight. All traces of his old self were gone. Shadows dripped from every limb, inky tendrils covering almost all of his skin. His eyes were completely black, entirely empty of expression. His aura practically crackled with black lightning as he approached Dianite’s champion.

The two draw their swords and begin to fight.

\- one -

It’s a repeat of what happened in Tom’s house. Once again Jordan disarms Tom easily and forces him to his knees. Jordan’s sword is just below his best friend’s chin and Tom is looking up at him, refusing to break eye contact. Jordan puts the sword away but Tom makes no effort to move. He draws an arrow from his quiver and nocks it in his bow. The arrow is tainted with Darkness’ very essence, an essence so evil it ensures death for gods and mortals alike. This will prove once and for all where Jordan’s loyalty lies, but Tom is just looking at him, just _looking_. If Jordan wasn’t so thoroughly corrupted by the Darkness, he’d see all of the emotions in Tom’s expression - sadness, betrayal, fear, resignation, sorrow, _pity._ Pity for _Jordan._

Karl and Dec have gone silent but Jordan doesn’t dare to look behind him, he doesn’t want to know if they’re dead or alive. He fits the tainted arrow to his drawstring and pulls back, aiming for the zombie’s heart. The champion of Dianite is still just looking at him, saying nothing. A single tear slips down Tom’s cheek and falls onto the temple floor. Jordan is brought crashing back to reality. He realizes all too quickly what he’s done, what a _monster_ he’s become. Jordan’s not in control of his thoughts, his body, his actions. For so long he’d refused to believe that things were outside of his control, _but he was never really in control, was he_?

The Darkness must have known everything from the very start. Jordan had belonged to it as soon as the first drop of potion touched his lips - weeks ago during the first purge. The captain always had darkness in him, he _had to_ in order to be Ianite’s champion - as much as Jordan thought her to be _good_ , there couldn’t be balance without some darkness to counteract the light. It was really a miracle that it had taken Darkness so long to corrupt Jordan, to make Ianite’s champion its own, but it had only ever been a matter of time.

Jordan could be convinced to renounce his goddess, a goddess he’d blindly trusted and had faith in, a goddess he’d breathed life into. But when it came to his friends, Darkness couldn’t touch him. It could help Jordan hurt and kill when the consequences were less severe, but here, with the opportunity to bring Tom’s life to a final end, Jordan couldn’t do it. His bow clattered to the floor, echoing loudly in the silent temple.

 _“_ Tom,” Jordan whispered in a broken voice “ _what have I done?”_

 _You helped me win, little one_ the Darkness all but purrs.

Tom just kept looking at him with those sad eyes. _He doesn’t trust me_ Jordan realized _. After all of this shit he doesn’t trust me._

Jordan suddenly understood what he had to do. It would get rid of Darkness once and for all. It would most likely kill Ianite. It would probably kill him too, but Jordan couldn’t let this go on for any longer. He forces himself to stand, picking up the bow and arrow he’d discarded.

 _Finally come to your senses, little one?_ the Darkness croons, beginning to approach Jordan. Tom bows his head, steeling himself for the death that was sure to come. Jordan keeps his eyes on his hands, slowly and deliberately renocking the arrow, then turning to face the Darkness.

 _Forgive me_ he whispers pulling the drawstring back.

“What do you mean, captain?” the Darkness asks sharply, beginning to reach for its sword.

“Not you, _my lord”_ Jordan smirks, voice dripping with sarcasm.

 _“Forgive me,_ ” he repeats forcefully” my ** _lady.”_**

He pours every fiber of his being into those two words, begging Ianite to hear his final prayer to her as he releases the tainted arrow. ****

 _“Always, my champion”_ Ianite’s voice whispers back to him, no longer silenced.

The arrow flies straight and true. It hits its mark, and Darkness _explodes,_ shadows sent flying in all directions. Tom and Jordan are thrown back, the force of the explosion rattling the temple. Purple end stone crumbles, beginning to rain down on the champions. Piercing pain sears through Jordan’s mind and body, but he manages to grab Toms hand, and they throw themselves towards Karl and Dec. The captain and zombie lay on top of their friends, shielding them from the worst of the debris until the stone stops falling and the dust begins to settle. Karl lets out weak groan as Tom and Jordan move away, beginning to stir.

“Karl, matey, you’re alive! It’s ok we’re safe now, Jordan saved us and it’s going to be ok” Tom is blabbering, shell shocked by what just happened. Jordan feels a swoop of relief in his stomach as he gets the confirmation that Karl is indeed alive, but he turns his focus to Dec. The priest has a nasty gash on his forehead, and he looks to have a broken arm but _thank gods_ he’s unconscious but he’s breathing. Satisfied, Jordan allows himself to collapse, forces himself to let the pain wash over him. The absence of the Darkness from his mind was _relieving,_ Jordan couldn’t remember the last time he felt so _light._ But at the same time, everything is incredibly wrong. His friends are safe, the Darkness has been expelled seemingly for good _but…_

Mianite and Dianite enter the temple and Jordan looks up at them, silently pleading for them not to confirm what he already knows. He doesn’t want to acknowledge the burning pain coursing through his veins, doesn’t want to feel as if part of his very soul has been cut away, doesn’t want to accept that he _no longer has a god_. The gods of order and chaos meet Jordan’s pained, _desperat_ e expression with sad looks of their own, and shake their heads. Balance was no more.

Ianite was dead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sike

The void trembled. _Something wasn’t right_. Fragments of light and dark appeared suddenly, drifting through the emptiness. They met occasionally, intertwining, each fragment fighting to overtake the other.

 _This will not do._ An invisible hand coaxed the dispersed fragments together, willing them to join in harmony, rather than strife.

The entire void seemed to exhale as the fragments of quintessence came together peacefully, a perfect balance of both light and dark. The new creation glowed.

The goddess was alive.


	7. Chapter 7

Jordan didn’t want to see the wreckage. He didn’t want to know the extent of the destruction, the ruin brought about by his two hands. His mind went blank when he tried to think of what had happened, all that had occurred when he gave the Darkness complete control. It was like having a word on the tip of his tongue that wouldn’t come to him no matter how he tried. Like someone had taken his memories of that time and simply erased them from his mind. Jordan was _sure_ he hadn’t imagined surrendering to Darkness - hell, his aching body and wounded friends were evidence that _something_ had happened. But he didn’t know _what_. It bothered him. Jordan needed to know.  
  
“I can help you remember” murmurs Dianite, coming up behind him “If you’d like.”

Jordan’s shaking, his thoughts racing almost as fast as his heartbeat. He’s not ready to let Dianite so close to him, terrified that he might condemn yet another god to death. He couldn’t even remember his own actions, let alone protect his own goddess.

But he says yes. It forces its way out of his mouth, tears its way out in an ugly whisper of defeat, because he can’t bear to lose more of his time, can’t bear to forget more than he’s already forgotten, doesn’t want to lose anything else but - _everything’s already lost, isn’t it?_ But _he can get this back, he has to understand, losing Ianite won’t have been for nothing and-_  
  
 _His lady._ Jordan couldn’t live with himself knowing that he killed his goddess. That he tore down his world without having an inkling of what he was doing. Jordan _needed_ to acknowledge every single one of his actions that brought the isles to ruin and Ianite to her death. _It was only fair._

So he whispers yes. And maybe there are tears spilling down his cheeks and maybe his breath is coming in ragged gasps because it’s just beginning to set in that _oh god, he’s killed his goddess, hasn’t he_? And maybe his legs give way and Dianite catches him and slowly lowers him to the ground, breaking his fall, and Jordan just lets the waves of pain overwhelm him but -  
  
“Show me” he pleads, voice cracking, black tears tracing down his cheeks, the last remnants of Darkness desperately clinging to his skin. Dianite gathers the captain into his arms and places a warm, gentle thumb on Jordan’s forehead. The man’s eyes flicker closed at the touch and Jordan feels a sharp burning sensation – the new connection with Dianite. It doesn’t fill the gaping hole that Ianite’s death left but it helps. A blur of images speed behind Jordan’s eyes before he’s jolted back into his body from hours ago.

-  
  
Jordan’s back in his body from hours ago, seeing through his own eyes for the first time. He can hear Darkness’ thoughts and whispers dictating his every move and has the sudden realization that he has no control over his own limbs. _Oh god this is going to be worse than the first time_. _I’m not strong enough to see this._ Jordan is sorely tempted to call upon the bond with Dianite that’s tethering him to the present, to leave this all behind before it’s too late. He knows that none of the other heroes would think lowly of him for doing so but he can’t go through with it. _This isn’t about him._ It’s about Ianite. With a deep breath, he draws strength from the burning connection and steels himself for what’s to come.  
  
He relives it all - every unsavory, nauseating, and gut-wrenching detail. Every broken promise, every failure, every _betrayal_ committed to memory. _This is because of you. Don’t dishonor her any further._ It’s killing him to see it unfold all over again, so familiar yet so unknown. Jordan feels Dianite’s strong, burning presence keeping him tethered, tempting him to return to the safety of reality back in Ianite’s nearly destroyed temple, but he refuses to leave. He watches it all.  
  
Watches as he destroys the courthouse with three strikes of black lightning, easily breaking and casting aside the scales of justice in miniature. His gut wrenches as the epitome of balance is destroyed and he knows exactly what Darkness was thinking. The courthouse was a test to see if Jordan was really under its control, but the not-him showed no hesitation, following Darkness’ every direction.  
  
He watches as the not-him tears down the tank of judgement, another monument to Ianite’s powers. He’s screaming at himself to snap out of it, to ignore the orders Darkness croons directly into his mind, _for the love of all that is good think of your lady_ \- but to no avail. With mind and hands that are not his own, Jordan places and detonates explosives, shards of obsidian exploding outwards as the tank collapses into rubble. He feels the shrapnel pierce his skin, and to his horror, the blood that pours from the wounds jet black. Not-him doesn’t seem to care. He laughs at the chaos, laughs at the destruction in a voice that is not his own.

 _How could you have been so foolish, as to trust a goddess so easily destroyed?_  
  
Jordan doesn’t want to watch anymore. _It hurts_ he pleads with Dianite, but he stays in this hellish reality. He screams his voice hoarse trying to resist Darkness’ directions, refusing to accept that this happened. That _he_ let this happen. But he wants to fight it, he wants this past to be a figment of his imagination. It’s anything but that. _Remember it for her_. He thinks he’s going insane, watching not-him set fire to the world the heroes had built up from nothing. He’s dizzy, disgusted, and feels like he’ll pass out from the pain and exhaustion of reliving this nightmare. But still he watches.  
  
Darkness is eventually satisfied with the ruin it’s brought upon the land and it croons its praise into Not-Jordan’s ear. With a shiver that doesn’t go through his body, Jordan realizes that Ianite’s temple is the last target remaining. This part he could remember.  
-  
Just like last time, brave, foolish Karl is the first to attack. He was a fearsome sight equipped with the Sword of Order and glowing with Mianite’s power, but Not-Jordan cast him aside with a mere sweep of his hand. Darkness’ power flowed down his arm and out his fingertips, flinging Karl against the wall. Jordan is sobbing, pleading with himself to stop. _Stop hurting them. Stop hurting your friends._ Not-Jordan doesn’t stop as Dec approaches, bow drawn. The priest meets the same fate as Karl. It doesn’t hurt Jordan any less.  
  
Jordan is attuned to every one of Darkness’ thoughts and he feels its excitement as it realizes the last one Jordan is to fight is his closest friend. _How fitting, that this is the one we fight_. And Jordan is willing his every limb not to move forward but he still advances on Tom, drawing his sword. And he feels powerless as the two swords meet and he stares into the eyes of his best friend. _Fear._ The only thing reflected in Tom’s eyes is sheer terror as the zombie realizes that this isn’t Jordan. It hasn’t been Jordan for a long time. Maybe against Jordan Tom could win a fight. Not against this creature.

Jordan wants to lunge forward, to shout _no_ as he sees Tom deliberately mis-step, but no. In an instant, Tom is disarmed and forced to his knees, Jordan’s sword under his chin. He and Tom are just staring at each other and _this part_ \- this part Jordan didn’t need to relive. This moment was already seared into his mind. Tom’s chest heaving, his sword unfaltering, the eerie silence. And Jordan knows in an instant that this is his last chance to regain his humanity. Darkness is urging him to kill Tom, but Jordan maintains eye contact with him, praying to Ianite to help him, begging not-him to _stop this madness._ But not-him nocks the tainted arrow and the bowstring is being drawn back and –

A tear finally makes its way down Tom’s cheek and- _there_. Jordan feels a sudden click as body and mind are in his possession once again, feels the sweeping sensation of realization and revulsion. The world goes into double speed as Jordan wheels around, fixing his gaze on Darkness and preparing to shoot.  
  
 _Forgive me_ he prays and suddenly she’s there giving him that small, sad smile as she says _always my champion_. The vision explodes.

-  
  
Jordan’s eyes snap open and for a moment they’re bright red, the result of his connection with Dianite pulling him back into the present. He’s back in Ianite’s temple laying on the floor, the purple stone cool against his feverish skin. The god of chaos hovers above him, a worried expression consuming his features.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to be able to handle it, little captain” Dianite admitted, helping Jordan to sit up. “Most mortals can’t handle being bound to more than one god”

“Bound to more than one god?” Jordan asked, making his way to his feet. A wave of nausea overtakes him, and he stumbles, the world spinning before his eyes. “Oy, watch yerself matey” Karl said sharply, catching his arm before he could fall. “You gotta take it easy fer a bit” he continued in a gentler voice, guiding Jordan back to a sitting position.

“It was the only way I could help you” Dianite explained as Tom and Dec moved to sit next Jordan and Karl. “It shouldn’t be permanent”. Jordan let his pounding head fall into his hands, missing his bond with Ianite even more than ever.

“Talking helps” Dec suggests in a quiet voice, putting an arm around Jordan’s shoulder and giving him a little squeeze.

“I – I suppose” Jordan says, voice faltering. Tom and Karl move in closer as Jordan begins to speak in a broken voice, recounting everything that had happened since the first purge. By the time he finishes, he’s sobbing, almost hiccupping as he apologizes for everything he’s done. The other heroes murmur their condolences, pulling him into a hug and whispering reassurances as sobs wrack his body. Jordan’s still broken but at least he’s not entirely alone. Not anymore.

All of a sudden, the deafening sound of stone cracking echoes throughout the temple. The other three stand up and draw their swords. Dec’s wounds are still bleeding, Karl can barely hold his sword up, and Tom looks like he’s going to pass out he’s shaking so bad but they’re hellbent on protecting Jordan. He’s spent so long trying to protect all of them by himself but it’s time for them to return the favor, and they refuse to let anything else happen to him. Jordan wishes he could bring himself to care about the new threat because honestly death would just make everything easier. He’d failed so many times, he’d _killed his goddess._ The only pure thing he’d had in this world and she was _gone_ and it was his fault and-  
  


“I’m right here, my champion”

 _Ianite._ Floating out of a massive crack in the temple wall that leads into the pure void is _his lady_. She’s barely there, barely even corporeal – _translucent_ \- and she seems so _tired_. Every movement is strained, there are streaks of grey and white in her once purple hair, and there’s an ugly hole from the tainted arrow just under her left collarbone, but she shrugs taking notice of Jordan’s look. He makes his way to his feet, barely able to stand and Ianite barely there herself. But the goddess and her champion are standing across from one another, no longer corrupted, broken goddess mirrored in broken mortal.

Jordan stumbles forward, a wild look in his eyes. “My lady, I- “he stops, voice cracking. _What the hell am I supposed to say?_ As if reading his mind, Ianite approached him and pulled him into her arms.

“I’m so sorry, dear one, for putting you through all that you have endured. I couldn’t be prouder of you”

“But I failed you” Jordan whispered, not trusting his normal voice to keep from shaking.

“It was my fault” she sighed, stroking his head. “I foresaw most of this and tried to avoid it. _I_ was the weak one for succumbing to Darkness’ false promises, not you.” Jordan feels a familiar spark of anger rise at not being told of the danger, but it dissipates immediately as he realizes it wouldn’t have changed anything.

It wouldn’t have prevented their bond from being broken. Even though they’re both still alive, their connection is purely physical, reduced to two existences withing the same realm. And in an instant, Jordan realizes that _it’s time_ , time for something he’s only ever had a vague understanding of. The realization is sharp and sudden, like someone’s just broken one of his ribs but _fuck._ He’s already had to kill her once, but _he has to do it again._ This time it has to be permanent. Mianite and Dianite have to destroy her too.

Confusion is plastered on Tom’s and Karl’s faces, but they know somethings wrong as Jordan goes limp in Ianite’s arms. Declan, Mianite, and Dianite all share somber looks, already aware of what the future holds.

Jordan’s not ready. He’s not ready to be alone again, not when she’s this close to him. But it has to happen.

-  
They make their way to the ruins of the courthouse, picking their way through piles of smoking obsidian. Jordan stays close to Ianite, trying to commit everything he knows about her to memory. The quiet, regal air about her as she walks barefoot, shoulders back and chin held high, her hips swaying with each step. Her long violet hair, now streaked with white, that cascades over her shoulders, moving with some unseen breeze. Her purple and green eyes that hold the promise of life in one and the eternal void in the other. She wraps an arm around Jordan and pulls him closer, her thumb tracing invisible patterns onto his skin. Once, that gentle stroke would act as a channel for Ianite’s magic to flow through him. Now, it was only a soothing touch. Jordan appreciated it nonetheless. Ianite’s very presence still calmed him, a pillar of balance that brought peace to his chaotic thoughts. He wasn’t ready to let her go.

“We can’t delay this anymore, sister” Mianite starts to say as the group comes to an area relatively clear of rubble. Ianite shoots him a look, eyes flashing, and he steps back, bowing his head in shame.

Ianite turns to Jordan and the raw sadness in her expression makes his stomach drop. “My sweet champion” she whispers, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He closes his eyes, reveling in the warm touch for a moment, and meets her gaze once again. There are unshed tears shining in her eyes and his heart _stops_. _This really is the end._ The goddess pulls him into a hug, and he clings to her, heart pounding in his chest, silent tears making their way down his cheeks. It’s the closest he’s felt to her since their connection was broken. She eventually pulls away – _too soon­_ he thinks, _it will always have been too soon_ ­– and gives him a small smile.

“I think you already know what to do” Ianite says in a quiet voice, extending her hands out in front of her. A purple glow emanates from them then fades, leaving behind a bow and a single arrow. 

The others look on in silence as Jordan takes the bow from her, his hands curling around the familiar shape. His fingers trace familiar grooves; smooth, unyielding wood engraved with runes of the highest powers. He knew this weapon. This bow was his - not in this world, but in another. This bow had killed gods before, just like Jordan. It was well suited to the task at hand.

Without speaking, he takes the arrow with his other hand but doesn’t nock it. At first glance, it could be mistaken for the tainted arrow Darkness had supplied him with, but this one was more purple than black in color. This one didn’t _feel_ evil in his hand.

“This one will prevent the void from saving me” Ianite explains, voice low. “Though I expect you two to help with that” she continues, turning to look at Mianite and Dianite. “Do not let this be for naught, brothers” the goddess says sternly, and the two give her solemn nods.

“Look after him” Ianite says in a much softer voice, turning to face the other heroes. “He’s the only one you’ve got”. Tom and Karl nod in an unspoken promise. “We will, good lady” Dec confirms, voice gruff.

Ianite makes her way back to Jordan and wipes away a tear that lingers on his cheek with a gentle sweep of her thumb. “I’m so sorry” he manages to choke out as she pulls him into one final hug.

“Don’t be” she murmurs, pulling away to join hands with her siblings. Mianite stands on her left, Dianite on the right. Chaos, Order, and Balance.

“In the same place as last time, if you please” Ianite calls as Jordan takes his stance. He nods, vision blurring with hot tears as he finally nocks the arrow. “Remember me, my champion. No matter where you go, I shall always be with you.”

“Goodbye m’lady” Jordan whispers, releasing the arrow. It flies straight and true, piercing the mark below Ianite’s left collarbone – the exact spot that had banished Darkness from the realm. The goddess of balance let out a soft sigh as the arrow connected, and burst into a brilliant, violet light. Mianite and Dianite joined hands, eyes closed in concentration. Tendrils of red and blue magic rose from their skin, twisting together, occasionally flashing purple.

Jordan watched the scene, not breathing, not blinking, until the magic faded. Dianite stumbled but Mianite caught his arm, steadying him.

“She’s safe” Dianite gasped out, forcing himself to meet the Captain’s intense gaze. “In another realm” Mianite added, looking nervous.

Jordan relaxes his grip on the bow and lets himself fall to the ground, closing his eyes as a wave of nausea overtakes him. _She’s gone._ The world falls completely silent, sharing in his grief at the loss of the goddess. Ianite’s gone from this realm, Darkness will never have the chance to corrupt her again. Jordan on the other hand…  
  
“We need to get him out of here” Dec says suddenly, breaking the silence. “He’s too attuned to balance for his own good, without Ianite here, he won’t be able to live”

“What about his bond with Dianite?” Tom cut in, looking desperately between the priest and the gods “Surely that’s enough, isn’t it?” He’d almost lost Jordan too many times already, he’d be _damned_ if he would let it happen this time.

“It won’t be enough for long” Dec replied, looking dejectedly at Jordan’s figure slumped on the ground. “If Mianite formed a bond with him too…that _might_ be close enough to balance for Jordan to survive. I don’t think it’s worth the risk, Jordan’s too weak to go about forging more godly connections right now”

“How the _hell_ do we fix him then?” Karl demanded, eyes flashing. No one liked seeing Jordan this weak – there was something immensely _wrong_ about it. The captain was the one who cemented the group of heroes together, he was their _protector._ Karl couldn’t stand just _standing there_ doing nothing to help.

As if answering his question, a great shudder ran through the isles, throwing up dust and knocking the heroes and gods off their feet. When the haze cleared, a gleaming, horizontal portal of obsidian and purple endstone stood where the tank of judgement had once graced the land. Mianite shakily made his way to his feet and gazed at portal with awe and reverence.

“My sister must really love you, captain” he intoned, tracing his hand across the cold stone.

“What do you mean?” croaked Jordan, drawing his sword to lean on for support.

“This portal spans _dimensions_ my dear captain, not just the Nether, End, and Overworld. _Somehow,_ Ianite managed to bring this portal into our realm…this is your way out” the god finished, voice straining.  
  


Jordan leaned heavily on his sword, trying to control his breathing. He felt like he was suffocating - unable to balance an odd sense of deja-vu with the unknown future that the portal promised. “I’ll die if I stay” he said simply, looking to the priest for verification.

Declan nodded, an odd look in his eyes. “It was always going to come to this, Jordan” he said, shoulders slumping “one way or another.”

“We’ve overstayed our visit, mate” Tom confirmed, coming to stand next to Jordan and Karl. “It’s time to leave.”

“I’ll stay behind with my brother and the priest, heroes” declared Dianite, casting a glance at Mianite. “We’ll be able to keep the destruction contained just to this world.” Mianite nodded in agreement.

“You’ll be able to find this world again, but it’ll look much different” continued Dec. “We…may be much different”

Jordan gives the trio a sharp nod and steps up to the portal, staring into its depths. _Maybe this could all go back to normal_ he thinks desperately. _Who knows what’s waiting for us out there? Maybe it’s better to stay…_ They’re futile thoughts and he knows it.

“It’ll be alright, matey” Karl promises, squeezing Jordan’s shoulder. “Who knows, maybe she’s out there, just waitin’ for ya”

“Jordan” Tom says, his voice faltering slightly. Jordan looks up and meets Tom’s eyes. They hold every single one of Jordan’s feelings – doubt, fear, the sense that they’ve been through this before, _together._ “It’s just another leap of faith”

The words were like a bucket of cold water sending shockwaves through his body and instantly clearing his mind. In that moment, he takes Karl and Tom by their hands, his decision made.

“Goodbye for now, heroes” Dec whispers, as the three step into the portal.

 _I won’t forget you, m’lady_ he thinks fiercely as they fall through the void. Maybe their connection is gone for good in this realm, but it has to exist in other realms, _it just has to_. If he can just hold on to his memories of her…  
-

Jordan regain consciousness on an island – not one of the isles – it’s new and strange but, somewhat _familiar_ _._ He feels a strange, burning warmth and he feels… _complete_. Like something that was missing is back, back in its entirety. Sitting up, Jordan catches the briefest scent of lilac on the warm breeze and _swears_ he hears a women’s voice murmur in his ear. _My captain._

Before he can come to his senses and call back to her, he hears footsteps approaching. Scrambling to his feet, Jordan attempts to dust off his clothes and right the red sunglasses perched on his nose. A very familiar zombie comes into view, a cheeky grin lighting up his face.  
  


“Hello good sir, and welcome your face to the world of Mianite!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all for now folks


End file.
